Apple's 2-hour infomercial: World's most valuable corporation reveals new disposable gadgets

The company that sold these devices — ironically named after an organic object, in contrast to the synthetic objects that the company sells — affirmed that it was important and revolutionary and anticipated that tens of millions of people will desire it.

Analysts predicting 227.5M iPhone sales this year en-route to ‘the trillion-dollar iPhone’ https://t.co/JIpXDPmxQGpic.twitter.com/6NXeJs3up2

— 9to5Mac  (@9to5mac) September 12, 2017

The corporation also announced that its stores, where it sells its products, would now be called “town squares.” This is in contrast to their primary function, which is facilitating the transfer of wealth from consumers to the corporation.

A new look at Apple Stores…or as they’re now called, Town Squares. #AppleEventpic.twitter.com/aL55Hbs8Vr

— CNET (@CNET) September 12, 2017

The prism-shaped device announced today is built not by the company selling it but rather by a large network of outsourced, poorly-paid and exploited humans around the planet. This includes miners in the eastern Congo, many of whom go into debt to work mining the rare mineral used in the device’s production; assembly-line workers who toil in a large city-size factory in China and who live in dorms with gated windows to prevent them from committing suicide; and packers and shippers who tolerate back-breaking conditions to ship the device around the world to consumers.

The labor conditions involved in the device’s production were not discussed by the corporation during their 2-hour infomercial.

The vast majority of the tens of millions of new devices sold will be discarded within five years. We will likely consume at least one of the things as well.